Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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