moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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