I want to have your abortion
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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