I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
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