Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
