i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
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don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
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walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
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