He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You're like the curious george of whores
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
