Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
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