It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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