Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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