The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
