dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
