Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
