Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
You've changed since you got that strap on
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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