i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
