you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
birth control should be required to get into college
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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