New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
It was confusing and full of hummus
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize