is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
