I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
