I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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