just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
