She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
