Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
