can we get nightvision for the apartment?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
