Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
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