she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I am naked and annoyed.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize