If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
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Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
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I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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