We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Randomize
