i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
