My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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