Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
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