So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Randomize