I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
