But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
My balls are so social today.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
