Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
