Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
