So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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