Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
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the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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