Are we in a gay sports bar?
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
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Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
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If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
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