and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
