Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
