I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
