He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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