I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
