My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
