If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
