No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
