Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Randomize
