Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
