I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
After tacos, we're chasing women.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
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