so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
