I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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