totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
