I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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