i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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