What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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