i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
