i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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