Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
