Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Randomize