All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Someone shattered a urinal.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
